Self confidence within the teenage girl

I look at my daughters everyday and wish they had the confidence to believe in themselves. They are beautiful young women (yes-I am bias). They have such positive attributes they don't see. Watching them has given me the purpose to write this and maybe I'm not the only parent out there that worries about what's going to happen to them with boys or peer pressure. Our youth today are so lost, they count on their friends to tell them how to think, how to act, and how to dress. They are afraid of being themselves; fear that their friend won’t like them for who they really are. They rather follow their peers than to be leaders for their group of friends. They trust their friend’s opinion more than their family’s opinions or beliefs. There is so much a teenager goes through that they don’t understand or understand why things happen the way they do. Young men and women go through a lot of the same; they all want to be well liked and popular.

Young women are so vulnerable to what their friends say. No matter what kind of little girl they were growing up; independent, leaders or daring -once they start into puberty all that seem to change for the majority of them. They lose the self-confidence they had before; they quit believing in their own thinking, they forget how important inner beauty is because they are so worried about their outer beauty. They feel if they don’t do what their friends say, they will be made fun of or worse off lose their friends. They haven’t realized that their real friends will stand by them no matter what. They think their popularity relies on if their clothes are of a certain brand, if they wear make-up or if the boys like them enough to notice them. These aren’t high school girls with these worries; they are in middle school, grade 6-8. As a parent, it bothers me that they are so concerned for their hair to be in its perfect place, they want to dress provocative and sexy, and they want to wear make-up to look older. Their bodies are maturing at such an alarming rate but their minds aren’t as mature as their bodies. When a young man starts to notice them or flirt with them, it makes them feel special and turns their world upside down. They spend more time “fixing up” to go to school so they can continue to be noticed. That’s all that goes through their mind at that time. They want these boys to notice them more than other girls around them. They want to have a “boyfriend” because all their friends have one. And when that one boy quits liking them or they don't get noticed anymore it crushes them and they let everything go. Their grades fall, their mood changes and their inner light just dims. They don't realize that this is something that is going to happen over and over again throughout their lives. Boys turn into men, men notice and take interrest and lose interrest just as boys do. That's why they can't allow it to bother them so much. Their self confidence has to come from within, no one can give you self confidence or take it away. I want them to realize that no matter what; they are beautiful, they are stronge and they are special. I know I tell my girls everyday but they don't believe me or they don't listen to me. I want them to be strong women now so when the hard stuff comes along they can stand their ground and not be talked in to doing things they really don't want to do.